Wednesday, September 25, 2013

24.

I've been very silent lately, using my time to rearrange a few things about my life and the contents of what I'm about to share with the world through the internet (coming real soon, I promise!). Finding, or rather making, time for myself and my passions has proved itself to be a bit more of a difficult task than I thought--working full-time drains my days and it's much more easier to succumb to lethargy (shameful of me to say) once I set foot into my home. However, I've been pensive lately, writing lists and setting goals, both long and short term, and I've also been getting quite restless in my own skin as I'm seemingly watching the days go by.

My birthday passed a little over a week ago and I think it finally hit me that I'm nearing a quarter century. Twenty-four seems a little daunting, given where I thought I would be at this age and where I really am now. Before, this would be enough to send me spiraling down, but right now I'm at a place with myself where I understand that this is the ebb and flow of life. Things don't go according to plan, life happens the way it wants to and it's either I learn to adjust to its constant changes or I get left behind.

In retrospect, however, there are things I'm not proud of. Actions that weren't thought through, things I've said fueled by emotion, things I haven't said out of consideration.. Growing and maturing is a painstaking process, and it's hard having to constantly keep reminding yourself to move forward and on, to realize that you need to cut certain things and people out of your life in order to do so. Life's too short for you to worry about things and/or people who don't do anything for your own growth.

I'm not going to sit here and type out some profound entry on how gaining a year to my age has helped me figure shit out. I'm nowhere close to figuring my life out, or even myself at that. To be honest, thinking about what the future holds scares the fuck out of me. But I know what I'm going to work towards, I clearly see who I want to be by the next couple of years and I also know that I'm more than capable of rolling with whatever right hook or roundhouse kick life might have in store for me.

Right now, I'm thankful that I've lived to see another year. Right now, I thank the universe for granting me another breath to fill my lungs and I thank the sun and the moon and the stars for the strength I've found in myself, much thanks to the nights I've been through.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

a little reminder


"we all have good days and bad days.
no one has the perfect life we think they lead.
we revel in things that make us happy and are
inspired to be better to the people we love,
but we also get annoyed with ourselves over
our faults and occasionally show fits of
anger or jealousy.

it's okay to be upset or frustrated,
just like it's okay to be happy and in love.
feel everything.
you can't sustain if you always try to
be perfect for everyone around you.
show moments of weakness, be inconsistent,
and throw an occasional tantrum when everything
just happens to go wrong on the same day...
but wake up the next morning and try to
improve one thing, no matter how tiny
or insignificant it may be.

we can't control everything that happens to us,
but we can change how we happen to others."

words of wisdom from a certain fog i love.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

habits


some habits are formed from when we're very young,
while others become a part of us as we grow.
there are good ones and bad ones,
ones that benefit you and ones you can really do without.
most times, they gradually become a part of your life
without you even thinking twice about it.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

pause

so many words swirl in my mind but i don't have the urge to speak them.

there was a time when i longed to be heard, longed to feel like i mattered and that i made a difference, an impact, in the lives of those who walked in and out of my life. nowadays, i'm no longer desperate for acknowledgement and i don't care much for what others think of my thoughts and actions, much less care whether or not i resonate in the memories of people i myself am beginning to forget.

maybe i can say that i owe it all to time, to my growth, and to the recent experiences i have gained in my days of living. i can't quite put a finger on the way that i have been feeling and the introspections i have made as of late, but i can definitely say that i'm on a good path with myself.

lately, i've been experiencing a dry spell with my creativity but today i've felt a resurgence of my passions. i'm excited to see how the plans i've made with a few friends begin to unfold and manifest themselves.

it's also the beginning of the second phase of 2013. this year, as i keep saying in past posts, have been nothing short of amazing so far and the remaining six months look very promising as well!

changes. lots of them, and they couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013




we were just fools sitting under the setting sun
pushing and pulling, ever ready to jump the gun.



Thursday, May 30, 2013

long time no blog

excuse the mosquito bite on my forehead, they feasted on my blood when i went camping in sequoia!

hello everyone! it's been a while, hasn't it?

i hope this blogpost finds everyone in good health and great times. in the month and a half that i've been silent, not much has happened. well, i lied, a lot has happened. as i've said in earlier posts, this year so far has been the most eventful in my now twenty-three-and-a-half years of life. i've met loads of new people, made new friends, my days and nights have been filled with amazing company and i love the direction my life is taking when regarding the relationships i have and i am currently treasuring and nurturing. this year has also been the most expensive in spending so far, but i ain't mad--you get what you pay for.

right now, i'm at a place in my life where i'm welcoming change--a change of pace, a change of means to reach the ends, and definitely a change of character. throughout this year, my eyes have opened to many new truths and i am adjusting myself to adapt. there's been a lot of time spent in introspection and (as cliché as it may sound) i'm nowhere near the woman i want to be but i'm well on my way towards her.

a lot of change, brewing inside of me and gurgling outside in my daily life..i'm excited! and i haven't really been shooting much or even partaking in my artistic interest, i kind of lost the groove but i'll be hopping back into soon. sometimes it just feels awesome to take a break and live.

so, until next time, à bientôt!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

daphne guinness


yes, yes, she is the direct heiress to the 18th century beer the i love so much.
she is also an artist, socialite, and muse to many designers and artists as well.
i know her best as the muse to the amazing alexander mcqueen (all hail mcqueen!)
i recently found out that her mother was an artist and muse to man ray and dali,
who were daphne's neighbors growing up when her family spent the holidays
in spain.. just imagine! maybe that was the precursor to this woman's surreal
and utterly divine sense of fashion. can you believe she's forty-five?!?!